


Ashes to Ashes

by Jester85



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Fake Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 08:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14492727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jester85/pseuds/Jester85
Summary: Some kind of weird self-therapy after Infinity War.  I don't even know.This seems like it's in some kind of weird netherworld where Tom and Haz are themselves but living in a world where the MCU also exists, but it'll make more sense in the end (maybe, probably not).(I really don't even know what this is trying to be)





	Ashes to Ashes

It was scary, huddled on the couch with Haz and Tessa watching the giant ringship (was that a name?  It was a ship shaped like a ring, so he's just gonna go with it) materialize over New York City, and this was a world where the news included stuff like aliens attacking New York and crazy robots dropping cities on people, and at least unlike that thing a while back with Thor, this wasn't happening in their own backyard.

But then The Avengers showed up, and he and Haz whooped and clapped at the screen like they were in a movie theater, because The Avengers kicked ass.

After that, things quieted down as they did after another Avengers-related incident.  The aliens, or whatever, got kicked back to wherever they'd come from, and Tom was bundled up in his oversized Punisher hoodie in the backyard, pretending to know what he was doing in front of the BBQ, while Haz pretended to be studying his script while actually modeling his bespoke suit for his Instagram fandom.

Maybe it was the faintly ashy smell of the grill that made him not notice at first.

It was a quiet, lazy day in Jolly Old London, so the piercing scream from somewhere down the block got their attention, Tom's hand pausing with the spatula, Haz frowning, withdrawing long legs from the bench and setting his sunglasses up in his hair.

There was ash blowing on the wind, dry and acrid, drifting overhead in some amorphous cloud.  More puffs seemed to be joining it, floating up into the air from different directions.

From directions of more screams breaking out.  Up and down their street, and Tom had a queasy, churning feeling in his stomach.

Haz standing now in alarm, peering down the street, trying to see something, and the churning feeling in Tom's stomach was revving up into straight pain.

The spatula clanged to the ground and he doubled over, clutching at his gut, confused when his hand felt like it was going through blowing leaves.

He glanced down, eyes wide and uncomprehending.  His empty hands glared back at him, sooty like he'd been digging in a fireplace.

"Thomas!" Haz was yelling, using his whole name like he almost never did, racing over to him, too cool for school Haz in his bespoke suit and shades, pale and stricken and looking so frantic that Tom wanted to calm him down, but he didn't understand what was happening to him, and his legs were falling out from under him and the world spun crazily, a glimpse of edge of roof, smoky sky, and then Haz's face, and Haz was _fucking crying_ and that hurt, and Tom reached up to touch his boyfriend's tear-stained cheek.

Haz clasped his hand, then gawked in horror as it crumbled to nothing, ash slipping through his fingers.

Tom was crying now too, ashen sooty tears streaking what was left of his face, and he wanted his Mum.  He wanted his Mum worse than he'd ever wanted her in his whole entire life.

"Haz," he tried to say, but it came out like a choke, "ack", his mouth filled with ash.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.  He was fucking 21.  Five minutes ago he was grilling fucking barbecue and now he's....whatever the fuck is going on, and Haz is crying and he _really really wants his Mum,_ wants her to hold him and shush him and tell him it'll be alright, and he'd never complain about being coddled ever again in his damned life.

He can't see Haz.  Everything is going black and sooty and all he can smell is ash.

 _I don't want to go!_ is his last wild, panicky thought.  _Please, Haz, I dun wanna go, idunwannago, pleaseHazplease._

_Mum!_

Tick. 

Tick. 

Tock _.  
_

*** * ***

(at least he didn't have to watch Haz die)

*** * ***

" _Please, Mum, I'm scared!  I dun wanna go!"  
_

".....Tom, what the fuck....?"

*** * ***

Tom bursts from the sheets where he's been twisting himself up in knots covered in a cold sweat, and it's only after wiping his mouth with shaking hand, stumbling to the bathroom on legs he can't quite convince himself really exist, and frantically inspecting himself for any hint of ash, that he finally lets his forehead meet its pale reflection in the mirror with a ragged " _Fuuuuck."_

Haz at his back in the doorway, bare chested and pajamas hanging low on his hips, and normally that'd be a sight to get his mouth watering, but right now Tom just feels sick.

"You alright mate? his boyfriend asks, blearily brushing a hand back through tousled hair.

"I had a.....I had a bad dream.  About the movie," Tom finally lets himself say, blushing because who the fuck has nightmares about Marvel?

Haz though, doesn't laugh or mock him.  Maybe in the morning, but for now the taller pale-eyed boy just quietly looks at Tom's sweaty back and wild eyes and asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Tom blinks hard.  Behind his eyes are the last remnants of smoky clouds, the taste of ash, Haz's sobbing face watching him die.

"Not right now."

A light stroke up one arm.  "Come back to bed, then?"

"In a minute."  He needs to splash his face, gargle the phantom taste from his mouth.

"Hey, Haz," he says into the mirror when his boyfriend turns to leave him alone, seeing his reflection pause and turning to face the real boy, because this is serious.  "I just....I _really_ love you.  You know that, right?"

Haz looks slightly mystified, but one glance into Tom's face and he just nods softly.  "Course I do."

Tom swallows, nods.  "Good."

After a moment, his is the only reflection in the mirror again.  _Christ._ Even filming a movie about a devastating tsunami when he was twelve years old, or being forced to crawl inside a giant rubber whale head hadn't given him any messed-up shit like that.

The young man splashes his face hard.  In a moment, he'll turn off the light and try to go back to bed beside his boyfriend, but first he makes two resolutions.

One, he's going to see his parents tomorrow.  Too, he is going to make _damned sure_ Harrison knows he loves him.

 

 


End file.
